Rambling.. on and on and on..

Some days I'll be busy doing something or another and Jon Kent will walk by and it will all of a sudden hit me.. "When did he grow up?"  I swear it seems like he should still be little and talking like a baby.  But there he is, playing like a big boy, talking like a big boy.  We have conversations that actually make sense.. at times.  I don't know when it happened, but it did.  He grew up on me.  And to think that this is just the beginning.  That he will continue (if we are so blessed) to grow and learn.  I guess since he's my first it just seems so unreal.  By the time Zoey gets to a new stage, we have been through it already with Jon Kent so with her it seems like she should be doing those things.  Although I was looking at a picture of Zoey we took at the beach and she just looked... beautiful.  Not that I don't always think that, but.. I don't know.. it was just different.  And not to forget Nathan.. he'll be 5 months old in a few days.  Today he was sitting in the highchair watching the older two play and you could see the learning in his eyes as he watched them run and play.  He didn't miss a beat of what they were doing.  It's these moments that make motherhood worth it.  All the unappreciated days just fade away in these moments of clarity, when I can look at my kids for who they are and can see, if only a glimpse, the bigger picture that God has for them and for me as their mother.  It's peaceful.

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Kent is going away for two weeks (!!!) starting the 15th of this month.  He is going to a firearms instructors thingy.  They will be will training him, and others from the prison, to be instructors to teach shooting classes and such.  Two weeks, I will be tending to the herd alone.  Two weeks.  I'm really not concerned too much about it.  I'm an adult..  I just hate to the thousandth degree to be alone at night.  HATE.IT.  I'm really hoping to get over that though.  I mean it's just the dark.  Although it's not so much the dark that I don't like.. but what lurks in the dark.  You can ask Kent and he will tell you that I have a wild way of thinking.  That my imagination's wheels will start turning and I can think of 10 things/people that could be out in the woods just waiting for our lights to go out so they can storm the house and attack us all.  Crazy right?  Yeah, I know.  But still..  Anyway, he'll be gone for two weeks and we'll manage.  We always do.