Worry Wart

Pregnancy is always a trying time with my nerves, emotions...  I think I have handled it outwardly a lot better this go around than my previous times.  But inwardly I am a wreck.  Not all the time, mind you, but some of the times.  And the closer I get to my due date the worse it seems to attack.  Talking about it helps, but honestly I feel like I bother people (i.e. Kent) when I talk about it.  Because I feel like that's all I do is talk, talk, talk.  Then a week later I bring it back up and frankly I feel like it would get on whoever's nerves I'm talking about it to.  None the less, my worries are still there.  The "older" I get the more I see things as they are.  My eyes aren't clouded by inexperience as much as they used to be.. which frankly I liked the clouded vision much better.. at least somewhat.  I know that bad stuff happens to good people and bad people have good things happen to them while the good people struggle.  Kids get sick and die young.  Parents who were always there for you grow older and could in fact leave you before you are ready (and really, who is ever ready!?!?!?).  Marriages aren't easy and life is hard.  Bills have to be paid and money gets tight.  It's really hard to comprehend life at times, which thankfully I'm coming to realize that there are things that I'm just not meant to understand.  I can actually take comfort in not knowing everything, all the time.  But some things.. the important things in my life I want to know and understand.  And when I ask why I want an answer.  When I talk, I want to be listened to and understood and comforted.  Not given a blank stare and a shrug.  If you don't have an answer just tell me that and offer me sympathy and a hug.  I truly have no idea if much of this makes sense.  But it does make me feel better that it's not all trapped inside anymore.  Maybe more entries like this will get it all out and maybe in these last 10 weeks of my final pregnancy, things can get easier... at least emotionally.  Thanks for reading.