Thursday, December 9, 2004

I guess it's my hormones

It's either my hormones...lack of sleep...or both.  But I am soooo frustrated and even Kent is frustrated.  Jon Kent in the past 24 hours has done nothing but fuss, fuss, fuss.  He will eat...sleep like 45 minutes...wake up and fuss some more.  I try to feed him again but all he ends up doing is throwing it back up.  My hormones are all over the place...happy one second, mad the next, gulity the next for getting mad, and then just flat out sad.  Last night was horrible.  Kent got off of work around midnight so I hop in the tub to take a quick bath because I hadn't had a chance all day.  So after my bath I went and got Jon Kent up to have a feeding because I knew he would be awake soon to eat.  So, I fed him and then we were all in bed (cradle) by 1am.  2:30am rolls around and he is up and fussing.  So I get up and feed him and we are back in bed by 3am.  4:30am rolls around he is up and fussing.  4:50ish we are back in bed.  5:30am rolls around and he is up again and fussing.  This time there was nothing that I could do to soothe him so I was getting pretty angry at him which I felt guilty for later.  Well, Kent comes in there and gets him and he has the ability to just let him cry for a bit...unlike me...and he finally cried himself to sleep.  Well by 6 we were all back to bed.  8:30am rolls around and you guessed it...he's up and fussing with NO prevail!  Kent told me to stay in bed to get some sleep.  But I couldn't because Jon Kent is screaming his head off.  By the time I got up Kent had dragged the swing into the living room and was putting Jon Kent in it.  He finally gave it up around 10am.  And he is still asleep...but only he knows how long that is for.  So frustrating!!!  It's got me wanting to put him on formula just so Kent and I can have one morning/afternoon/evening WHATEVER to sleep and just take a breather.  Kent told me I didn't have to breastfeed anymore...but the guilt factor falls back in and I don't want to feed him that mess if my "plumbing" is working just fine.  Like I said...I guess it's just my hormones and the fact that he is a newborn and that they don't really have a "happy" time right now.  It's either sleeping, pooping, eating, or crying.  They say the 6 week mark things "get better".  But I don't even want to get my hopes up on that.  I just want him to be happy and healthy and feel loved.  Right now I don't think he feels/is any of those.  *sigh*  Well, he is awake...that was his usual 30 minute routine...and you've guessed it...he's fussing...............

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Girl...I've been going through the same thing.  It is so frustrating and I guarantee it's because of the lack of sleep.  I've started pumping during the day so I can have one bottle at night just to give myself a break.  And in desperation, I did give him one bottle of formula.  I know how easy it is to feel guilty...but try to do what's best for BOTH of you.  And do whatever you have to do to just get some sleep...you'll feel so much better!  Good Luck!

Lisa

Anonymous said...

All new mothers go through all of the emotions you are. You are not alone or a bad mother. It is really hard to get time for you when they are that young. Pump a few bottles if you can and add formula to the breastfeeding if you can. Lack of sleep will make ya a lil nutso too. Get some sleep...relax...all parents go through these times. Hope things get better soon   : )
Tracie

Anonymous said...

Do you want your Moma to come and be a live in nanny?  I am willing.  I am calm cool and collected.  All you all have to do is call and I will come.  How about spending the night with us a time or two.  I will get up.  I am here for you.  Mam Ma Cummings I am not but I can hold and love him without being tense.