Nervous

For whatever reason, I just got so nervous about my doctor's visit Thursday.  I was looking at my clock and it said 12:00am.  And I thought well tomorrow (since it's now Wednesday) I will be going back to the doctor and he will then give us the green light to start trying to have a baby again.  And it just hit me...I'm going back down that road where I am in control of nothing and how I am still at some risk of having a miscarriage again.  It's frightening to me.  I just honestly see no way of getting over another miscarriage.  It just seems impossible to me.  I just don't want to go through that again.  I just don't.